The Light

 

I have been working on a blog post about our calling into the overseas mission field.  Every time I start, emotions of frustration, hurt, and anger start to stir up in me. Yet another confirmation to me that I still have a lot of healing to do.  As I was working on the post I went back to read the last blog post and stopped at the picture posted.  It caught my eyes in away it hasn’t before.

It’s a picture of G’man riding his bike one of our last days in Germany.  It’s a beautiful picture.  So green. I know looking at that picture is a little boy who is so happy riding his bike. Such a simple picture but yet it says so much to me.  Just look at the picture. Its amazing how you see him coming out of the dark shadows and into the bright light.  If you look ahead of him a little you see another little patch of darkness and then more light. This little boy has no idea what is to come in the days ahead of him and yet he continues to ride on trusting his mom and dad.  It reminds me of our walk as Christians. How we go through what seem as dark times, but really they are just a means to get us to to where God wants us to be. We really don’t want to go through them sometimes, but they are just part of our journey in learning to completely trust the One who created us.  I know God has brought me through those dark times recently and I will go through many more. I trust He knows best and has a plan for me and my family.  I do not know what is to come in the days ahead of me. I don’t know what lays in front of me, but I will ride on and trust my Heavenly Father.

   

Leaving Germany

 

Grayson riding his back his last few days in Germany

I (Stefanie) left Germany in May 32 weeks pregnant with baby girl (and of course two busy boys).  Honestly I could not have gotten out of there any quicker, I’ll get to that in a little bit. We chose for me to fly back before having baby girl after conversations with others who had little ones in Germany and after speaking with the U.S. Embassy who couldn’t give us a guarantee that we would be able to get baby girls passport in time for us to fly and be back in Texas by a certain date. I was very torn by the decision as part of me wanted to have her in Germany and with a natural birth (my first two pregnancies were induced).  My aunt flew over to help me fly back with the two boys leaving Gray behind to finish up the ministry,  (I do wish he had joined us coming back to Texas).  The flight was smooth at first, no big hicups from Basel to London.  London to Texas was a different story.  I almost got stuck in London till baby girl was born as British Airways were not going to let me fly being pregnant.  (Even though I was within my airline regulated time frame and I had a doctors note).  Part of the problem was that my doctors note was in Germany (being that I was in Germany seeing a German doctor).  The BA worker couldn’t read my note.  She said that I was to far along in my pregnancy to fly.  I had trouble understanding when I just flew from Basel, Switzerland  to London Heathrow with the same company and BA had no problems allowing me to continue on to my final destination out of Basel.  After 30mins I was cleared to travel.  By this point I was ready for the day to end, and it was just beginning.  Let me just say that by the time I landed in the states, and still today I’m not eager to fly with BA anytime soon or with out Gray.  My month without Gray was long and we all missed him very much but we survived.  I am thankful that my aunt flew over to help and got to spend a few days seeing where we had lived that last couple of years.  I wish we had more time there but her commitments in the states kept us moving fast to get her back. 

*Warning*   If you choose to continue reading and you know me, you will be reading some harsh reality, behind the closed door type stuff that I have not shared.  I am hoping that by opening the said closed door I will be allowing for healing for myself and others (past, present, and future).  Not all post will be this way but some will.  I apologize in advance if I offend anyone that is not my intention.  I want to share so that I can heal and not forget the darkness that God has brought me out of.  I am not a writer.  I know there will be a lot of holes left as I try to take my thoughts and feelings and put them in words for us to read.  I hope that over the next several weeks I will fill in the holes.  Be patient.  I pray that in all God is glorified.

I was more then ready to leave.  I was tired.  I was tired of not being able to communicate clearly with others (doctors, neighbors, grocery store workers, etc).  I was tired of being alone.  I was tired of not having any money.  I was tired of being away from family.  I was tired of cooking all the time.  I was tired of feeling out casted because God blessed me with 2 boys, who were only being boys (loud, rambunctious, happy little boys) in a community that only had little girls.   I was tired of not being able to help my husband in a ministry we BOTH felt called to because my children were not welcome or we had no one to watch them.  I was tired of feeling like others were always talking about myself or my family.    I was just plain tired.  I left Germany hurt, broken, and alone.  Needing God now more then ever and not knowing where to find Him.  I left Germany knowing that I needed to take several steps back in my relationship with the Lord and start again. I wasn’t going to find what I needed in Germany out of a community that left me with “dry bones.” (For “Dry Bones” reference read Ezekiel 37:1-14)

I will say that I left Germany Dry but I knew then and now God loves me. I am thankful that God loves me. Unconditionally. In my darkest moments and my brightest, He loves me.   And He never will give up on me or stop loving me.  We serve an awesome God.  I knew it  5 years ago, 3 years ago, 1 year ago, 6 months ago, yesterday, and today. 

I am thankful for my husband who was willing to serve his family before he served his ministry.  I am thankful for God who opened my husbands eyes to see that his family was weak and needed healing.  If you are in ministry we recommend listening to the sermon by Mark Driscoll “Ministry Marriages”.  

Where Has The Time Gone?

 

Wow, its been a while.  Its been 5 months to be exact.  We last wrote about some really big changes taking place in our lives on top of the changes we were and are already going through.  God closing the door for us to return to missions overseas after our year of furlough was hard, a lot harder for me then I would have ever guessed.  It was unexpected for us and added to the struggles we were already dealing with.  However, we are so thankful that we were here in the states when that door was shut and not while we were still on the field. We can see how God has been continually guiding us in the steps we take and taking care of us in the midst of our struggles.  What an awesome God we serve! 

“…but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

I invite you to check back regularly as I plan to catch you up on what has been going on in our lives before and after we announced us not returning to the overseas mission field. 

I hope you all have a beautiful week and for many, stay warm.

Blessings,

Stefanie (for Alex too)

Changes

Stefanie and I would just like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your faithfulness over the past few years through all of our ups and downs. We have been more than blessed to have you in our lives. We regret to say that we have another change coming about.  We feel our time serving overseas is closing, whether temporarily or permanent, and we trust that this is part of Gods plan for our family. Since our last email about switching your donations to Grace San Antonio, our friend and pastor at Grace has resigned, his last Sunday being the 22nd of September.  With him leaving we will no longer be able to continue to receive support through the church.  This isn't for anything negative or wrong, it is just God moving his people around and that happens to include our family as well.  So, in leu of this we are asking that that you hold ALL financial gifts until further notice and seek where else God could use those funds for the time being. If you would like to continue to give to families serving Missionary's kids at BFA please let us know and we will give you the names of some wonderful missionaries who could use your blessing.  Stefanie and I are currently in the process of acquiring your last donations and gifts from TeachBeyond and Grace San Antonio. We still feel called to the mission field, but we are not sure when and where God will be sending us or in what role He will have us in.  We will continue to keep you updated on all that is happening and all that God is doing in and through us here in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex.  If you would like to give a one time tax deductible donation for our start up funds as we seek to set up a little more permanently, please do so by the 20th of September. We are so very thankful for you and Love you, we pray God is blessing you abundantly.

"May The Lord bless you and protect you. May The Lord smile on you and be gracious to you.  May The Lord show you his favor and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

Transitioning

Defined as a constant state of transition.  Our lives can be defined by this word.  Since May, we have been transitioning out a life abroad into life back in America. We have transitioned from being parents of two to being outnumbered 3 to 2.  I am transitioning from teaching wood shop at a private christian school overseas to teaching welding in a public school in Texas.  We have transitioned from living on our own to living with family for 6 months.  We have transitioned out of a community where we see the same people all the time, at work, school, church, in town, to a  place where all aspects of our lives are segregated.  We have transitioned from filling up our minivan with gas maybe once a month and walking everywhere everyday to filling up our suburban once a week and not walking anywhere.  I feel like I want to twitch when I say the word transition. I am not writing this to complain, but to give you an idea of where we are at. Please keep our family in your prayers as we go through this phase of transition. As of late we are living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area with my parents, we have been attending The Village Church, and I started work last Monday at the Ben Barber Career and Technology Academy.  We are seeking God's direction for this year and the years to follow and we hope that you will join us.

A Few Overdue Updates

Little Miss A

6lbs 3.5oz 19.5in long

Just over a week ago on Friday night we had the great privilege and blessing of bringing a little girl into God's world.   Little Miss A came to us just 2 weeks shy of her due date.  We went in for a check up and were sent over to the hospital for overnight observation and they decided to induce the next day and after just 4 hours of labor we had our little girl.  Stef did an amazing job and looked great throughout the delivery.  The boys were SO excited to get to meet "baby A" after waiting so long.  All Gman and Brother wanted to do was hold her and touch her and even feed her some broccoli.

A New School

We are now staying with family for the next few months as we transition to life back in the US.  In August I will start teaching at Mansfield ISD at the Ben Barber Career and Tech Academy.  I will be teaching Principles of Construction and get to teach Welding again for 10th -12th grade this next year as we see what God has in store for us.  We will be plugging in to a local church and looking for short term mission trips to lead.   We will also continue to prepare for serving long-term.  Please be praying as I transition back into teaching public school, that God will open up doors for sharing Christ in new ways.

Financial Support

We still need your support.  We are back in the US for at least the next year and as we have come back we are pretty much starting over. The past few months have been low months for our support level with extra expenses, so if you would like to help us with some of our restart cost and with the baby we would welcome any one-time gifts. Please direct all donations through our home church, Grace San Antonio.  You can find the church information online at http://www.gracesanantonio.com/#/give. Just mention our names in the donation and it will get to us. You can give online through paypal, bank transfer, or through a check.  Just a reminder that we will be transitioning all donations from TeachBeyond to our Church at the end of August.  We will send out a reminder at the beginning of next month with all of the important information about the transition. Donations made through Grace San Antonio are 100% tax deductible.

Very Brief

Well, I have been trying off and on for 2 weeks to update the blog for a quick update to include pictures which will help make things a little more exciting.  So here I go with out pictures…

March

-we celebrated my 30th birthday.

-were excited to announce we are expecting baby GIRL Higgs in July.

-Alex’s role as department head has been busy with Teacher Evaluations

-Alex led a mission trip to Tanzania.

April

-Spring Break

-Alex’s parents visited for a week.

-Final 10 weeks of BFA 2012-2013 school year started.

-Mission Trip Sunday, where we got to hear about all the Lord did in and through the BFA staff and students that went on Mission Trips this year.

-Alex’s sister and brother in law visit into the first week of May

This gives you a brief update on a few of lifes happenings here over the last two months.  We are sorry for not being more diligent with keeping the blog updated.  Check back this weekend for further updates.  Thank you for your support through prayer and financial giving, allowing us to serve and love on MK’s and TCK’s here in Kandern Germany.